life is never meant to be easy

although i already realize the truth, but events happening around keep on reminding me that life is never easy. probably it was never meant to be. maybe it supposed to be challenging, most of the time we will feel defeated, depressed and always sit in one place with despair, but eventually the only right thing to do is to get back up and move forward to more difficulties in life. am i being pessimistic? maybe, but tht may as well be the truth. like my bro said, plan too much, u'll get nothing achieved. s/times we just have to do things step by step. speculate only some time n portion of near future. things happen and ppl change, so a long detailed plan may possibly cant be carried out as we expect it would.

not so long ago, we have the excitement of planning our future: together and aspiring each other's work and future career, with nice imagination of having small but sweet and warm family together. we thought we have good chance to work together again, just like last time during housemanship. but an offer letter assigned him to a new psy hospital in his hometown. this apparently is a better option for him, n without doubt, supported him to go there to work. it would be better for his postgraduate programme. but also at the same time, i have decided to pursue my part of career in my current hospital, most likely working towards postgraduate programme as well. with such twist of event, i can already foresee at least another few years we will be working in different district, striving hard for further success. but scene of having a home together seem so much dimmer now. i cant denied i have mixed feelings, which at some moments i dunno how to handle them except keeping quiet. it is the best choice we have, but probably marriage will be a bit difficutl up ahead. i'm not confident in distance r/ship even it is only 60 km away.
we will be only meeting up over weekends when not on call, probably one or two nice dinner together per week, n half our meetings will be together with his relatives. i'll have to handle my stress from work myself and alone most of the time, with maybe ventilation to him through only phone calls, not accompaniment. my video game and laptop will still be my loyal companions within the four walls of my room. friends, sure i have quite a number here. but the one i want to be with the most, he is not there half the time.
condition may as well worsen when we both become specialists. being in govt sector where medical staffs are always severely in shortage, we would most likely get assigned to different districts to serve the public better. children, another major factor to consider. how can i be confident to raise my own offspring without firm stable home for them? i'm not sure. currently i feel doubt, not about my work as a doctor, but my future as a person. helps and advices are always within calls and steps away, but there are things i think that i have to think through myself
despite all these troubling my mind at more n more frequent intervals, there are times i regretted to get into relationship. it is an emotion wanting to escape from reality, but eventually i realize i'm still glad that i came to know him.
problems will undoubtly be solved eventually. the point is i have to find the solution in time and try not to ruin what i hold dear.